


Finding His Other Half

by radkoko



Category: Naruto
Genre: Community: kakairu_fest, Dialogue Light, Fluff and Angst, Frustration, KakaIru Month 2015, M/M, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4146921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radkoko/pseuds/radkoko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka feels himself bond with another at the worst moment of his life, in the one moment he couldn't care less about someone new. It takes him years to want to find his other half, and now that he wants to find them, he can't seem to pick them out from the people around him. Will he ever find the one he's fate to be with?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding His Other Half

**Author's Note:**

> June 17th Prompt
> 
> Kink meme prompt (x): Soul~bond~fic~ Kakashi and Iruka end up soulbonded, except they don't realize *who* they've been bonded to. Maybe they couldn't see one another when the bond triggered, or maybe they were both masked - the important part is that they are intimately connected to someone they don't know. Since the soulbond doesn't come with a convenient set of directions - down the street, take a left, and it's the guy behind the desk - it takes a while for them to actually meet one another.

Iruka was already crying when he felt the soul bond tug at his heart, and at that moment Iruka couldn't care about who was on the other side of it. His life was shattering in pieces around him, and some stupid bond couldn't change anything.

Destruction continued to rain down around the village, but Iruka was safe and away from the Nine-tailed Fox that had just taken the life of his parents. Tears were still streaming down his face when he finally had the courage to look around to see who might have been bonded to him.

In the clearing there were ranks of young teens and jounin keeping them in their place. Any one of the people around him could be the person on the other side of his bond.

He couldn't handle this.

Soul bonds seemed a fairytale to Iruka, but his parents had always insisted that it was possible. The way they cared for each other Iruka wondered if they had been bonded to each other. He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. It was all too much. He was only 10, how could he have such a strong connection with another person. How could he even think about someone new becoming important to him when he had just lost the people he cared most about. Iruka thought he had lost everything, and here was some mythical bond that was trying to wheedle it's way into the empty spot.

No. He wasn't going to believe it, he couldn't.

~~~

Weeks passed. The endless destruction of the Demon Fox still lingered in the once proud village. Everyone acted strong in the wake of the massacre, but Iruka was in full view of the dregs that it had created.

He had continued to feel the deep connection to his other half, but tried hard to dampen any feelings that spead through it. Not caring that he was sending horrible mean to thoughts to the person on the other end. They deserved it.

It hadn't been long after that night when Iruka found out that the teens in the clearing had all been jounin. The hokage had squirreled them away in that clearing to keep them safe while other ninja like Iruka's parents had sacrificed everything to safe the village. It was like someone had said their lives were worth more than the others, and Iruka could never forgive that.

~~~

Whenever Iruka felt lonely his feet would always find their way to the memorial stone.

His fingers slid across the newly added names of his whole family. The only good thing that Iruka could think was at least his parents were together, wherever they went.

Everything changed in an instant when the fox had attacked the village and Iruka was still trying to catch up with the changes. The only peace he seemed to get was at the stone. Home was empty without anyone else there and the academy was full of students that were more fortunate than Iruka.

There was a sudden wave of emotion that shook through Iruka's body. The bond...

Snapping his head to look around, Iruka had to find out who was near. He felt no chakra near him and couldn't see anyone in the nearby woods, but the bond couldn't lie, his fated was nearby. When the feeling settled into him he could tell the person on the otherside wasn't ready to show themselves. Defiant as always, Iruka sat himself down in front of the stone and decided he could outlast the other. They would have to come over and meet him or they would leave.

Iruka wasn't sure which he wanted, but he hated letting these feelings rule his life.

He stared at the stone for hours, his head growing heavy as he fought with it to stay upright. 

After one particularly long drop he jerked his head up, noticing a new addition to the stone in front of him. There was a small bouquet of flowers sitting as an honor to someone who had been lost. Iruka looked around, but he already knew from the bond that he was alone once again. He noticed that the sky had a paper think streak of daylight, telling him that his last nod had been longer than he expected.

His fingers found the names of his parents one last time before he gave up for the night and headed to the cold dark home that awaited him.

~~~

As the years passed, Iruka had started to narrow down the people that might be the other half of his soul bond. Whenever he had to run an errand to the jounin break room, he was able to cross a few more names off the list.

It frustrated him to realize that the other side of his bond knew who he was, yet avoided saying anything. If they were fated to be together then why avoid him?

~~~

By the time he had passed his chunin exams, Iruka wanted to know who his other half was. They spent far too much time getting themselves hurt in the six years of their bond. Iruka could feel the ache of the other body when they fought and must have been fighting through complete exhaustion to reach the village. After every one of these long missions there was an even deeper hurt, the kind that Iruka felt when he visited the memorial stone. Lost loved ones.

He wanted to rush to the stone every time he felt that longing pain, curious if he could see his other half, but Iruka was far too busy with his chunin team or the feeling disappeared before he could get there.

~~~

Iruka was down to five possibilities, well Asuma and Kurenai seemed far to involved with each other to be the other half of his bond. Leaving him with three.

Genma, Raidou, and Kakashi.

He wasn't sure how he felt that among the remaining three his bond was with another male. Such relationships had never been seen as perfect since a child couldn't be born from these unions, but ninja spent far too much time in life and death situations to bar someone from being with the one they loved.

With the bond manifesting at such a young age, Iruka had never known love. Sure he had a crush or two when his parents were still around, he remembers his mom wanting to everything about the girl he saw around the playground, but nothing since the bond. And if he were fated to be with this person forever, Iruka was sure that the boundaries of gender and proper marriages wouldn't matter to him soon enough.

If he ever figured out who he was!

Iruka wasn't sure how the three managed to always be near each other. In the mission room, at restaurants, even their apartments were side by side. Even if he hadn't managed to pick his other half out, he had managed to get more information on them.

Genma was a playboy. Although Iruka couldn't quite tell if it was an act or not. The man hung off of everyone, getting far too close in their personal space. He teased and taunted with no discrimination, even those in a relationship. Iruka wanted to doubt his ability to soul bond with anyone and still keep that personality, but at the same time he couldn't help thinking that it would explain why he was being avoided.

Next on the list was Raidou, who Iruka couldn't help but like. He was intelligent, caring, seemed to have his own streak of rebellion, and a great ninja. Problem with all that is it made them too similar. Iruka was sure that Raidou could one day be a great friend and confidante, but those same qualities didn't necessarily make a good match.

And then there was Kakashi. After watching the trio for years, Iruka still felt as if he knew nothing when it came to Kakashi. He was like an observer to Genma and Raidou's friendship, but always around them. Kakashi was supposed to be one of the most feared ninjas yet all Iruka knew about him was that he read those ridiculous novels in public, and his right eye was practically the only piece of skin that he showed. The thing Iruka wanted to know most about Kakashi was whether, even with his pale complexion, that patch of skin was darker than the rest.

It would all be so much easier if they would just stop hiding from him. Iruka let his frustration ring through the bond, hoping that soon he would be able to tell his other half exactly what he thought of him.

~~~

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. All three of the new jounin leaders wanted to nominate their teams for the chunin exams.

How dare they! They were still children...

"Hold on a second!" The words slipped from Iruka's mouth before he could stop himself. He knew it was completely rude, but he cared about the children and wasn't ready to see them die so that these jounin could brag to each other.

"What is it Iruka?" the Hokage asked him. Iruka wanted to shut himself up, that tone the Hokage took with him was one Iruka had grown to know far too well. It was the one where he was already being told that nothing he would say could change anything, but the Hokage was willing to let him vent.

"Hokage-sama, if I may have a word." Iruka tried to regain some of his normal politeness. "I may be speaking out of place, but most of these nine were students of mine at the academy. Of course they are all very talented, but it is far too early for them to take the exam. They should have more experience." It sounded reasonable. Respectful.

"I was half Naruto's age when I became chunin." Of course it was Kakashi that flung those words in Iruka's face. In the continued years of watching the man, it was something that he'd actually found out about him, he couldn't let anyone else win an argument if he was part of it.

"Naruto is different than you!" Iruka yelled back. If Kakashi had chosen anyone else to pick on Iruka might have been able to hold his tongue, but not Naruto and Kakashi had done it on purpose.

There was a growing feeling of anger and frustration in his chest, and it wasn't all his own.

"Are you trying to hurt these kids?!" Iruka couldn't believe the Hokage was just going to let this happen. "The chunin exams are ha-"

"Those 'kids' are always complaining about the missions. Experiencing some pain would be good for them." Kakashi's tone wasn't harsh, but his words cut deep. "Crushing them could be fun."

"WHAT?!"

"That was a joke Iruka-sensei," Kakashi's lone eye seemed to look at him with disbelief that he couldn't take the hard natured joke.

Iruka clenched his fist, he wasn't going to get into a fight with Kakashi…he had to promise himself this...

"I can understand how you feel. It must upset you, but…" The grey eye grew hard, piercing through Iruka.

"Kakashi, stop it," Iruka couldn't turn away from the eye, but the voice was Kurenai's.

"Stay out of this." Kakashi's voice was deadly serious, no questions. he was ending this conversation. "They are no longer your students. Right now, they are my soldiers."

Iruka bit down, barely feeling the flesh he held between them only catching the metallic taste of blood as it started to flow into his mouth.

I hate you. 

The words weren't said aloud, but as soon as they filtered through Iruka's mind he felt the tug of pain, and desperation at his heart. He had to fight with himself to not collapse from the feelings he was receiving. He swallowed the blood in his mouth, and rubbed at his chest to make the feeling go away. Kakashi's eye still seemed to hold him, but he tore away from it and bowed to the Hokage before rushing from the room.

Iruka didn't stop until he made it home, but the feelings continued to linger through his bond. Even though they lessened when he had gotten out of the room, the emotion was too strong to fade altogether. He curled himself into a ball on his bed, begging for the pain to fade. It was only the second time in his life that he had truly wished to sever the bond, and this time it wasn't for his own sake.

He wondered how many times he'd caused this same pain to his other half. Had his anger as a child sent this same debilitating feeling to the other man?

The only thing he could do was wait.

~~~

The news of his defiance had traveled far quicker than Iruka had hoped.

He was woken up to pounding at his door, thankful that the bond was now silent.

Opening the door he saw Izumo, giving a sly smile, and Kotetsu, grinning like a maniac. "We heard you took on Kakashi!" Of course they had heard.

"I didn't 'take on Kakashi', how could anyone manage that?" Iruka asked, not liking how this was going.

"Standing up to him is a pretty big deal for most jounin, let alone a chunin," Izumo chimed in.

"Again, it wasn't addressed at him. I was telling the Hokage how I felt." This was going to lead to a headache fast if Iruka couldn't shut them up.

"Doesn't matter, we're going to celebrate!" Kotetsu replied dragging Iruka out his apartment.

"Only if you're buying," Iruka caved locking his apparent behind him.

~~~

Iruka was going to have trouble remembering this night. He'd swear everyone in the village had heard this exaggerated version of what happened during the chunin exam meeting earlier that day. Some think he stood up and told off every jounin in the room, but that was only a rumor. Others swore he punched Kakashi, which was an even worse rumor…

For the first hour Iruka sat there correcting everyone about how it had happened. Yes, he stood up for his students. No, he did not call out Kakashi specifically. No, there had been no physical violence of any kind. Eventually Iruka gave up. He knew the rumor mill of this village far too well to even try to stop it. The only thing that would shut them up was when a new rumor came through. The chunin exams would be happening soon, and they would soon all forget about the stupid argument he had gotten into before they started.

The only good thing Iruka could think about the night was that anyone who believed the rumor that he had punched Kakashi wanted to buy him a drink. Kotetsu was happy that he didn't have to buy them anything beyond the first round as drinks kept finding their way to them. Iruka couldn't even keep up, passing his extras onto his friends. He wasn't interested in the celebrating that they were doing, he just wanted to forget that his students were being offered up to be taught a lesson.

Kakashi had made it clear that he felt they needed some discipline in the form of this exam, one that could kill them. The man didn't seem to care that he was ready to let them die before they learned how the world worked. It made Iruka sick to his stomach that he'd let them go so young. Okay so they really weren't that young, but if he'd held onto them for another year or two maybe he wouldn't be so afraid that they were being sent to die. 

Iruka sighed to himself, he was supposed to be forgetting these things, not thinking about them harder. Another hand clapped him on the back and another drink appeared in front of him. His vision was already starting to fuzz up, but he drained the drink before him listening as the crowd cheered around him.

Laying his head down on the table was soothing as the cooling sensation relaxed him. Iruka wanted to go home, but he was sure someone would notice that he was missing. He also wasn't too sure that he'd be able to make it home in his condition. Time seemed to be flowing past him in fast motions, everything else was just a little fuzzy, and he couldn't remember anything that was going on in his thoughts.

It wasn't until he heard the noise of the bar leave him that he realized he was being carried by someone. He felt the arms beneath his back and knees holding him close, and something very warm near his heart. When he curled closer to the chest of the man that was carrying him, Iruka felt the warmth fill the space around his heart the space that he'd grown to know as his bond's emotions.

So this was him, whoever he was. The man that seemed to avoid Iruka at all costs, yet here he was taking care of Iruka. Iruka couldn't raise his head to look so just gave in to letting the man take care of him. 

~~~

Iruka rose with the sun every morning, though it was out of habit and nothing else. This was the one morning he wished he could have slept through the sunlight.

After Iruka could sit upright he tried to remember anything more from last light. If it weren't for the warm feeling still settling around his heart he would almost think he'd been dreaming. The only new thing he could remember was being tucked in for the evening and the bare hint of a kiss to his forehead. His fingers felt the spot burned into his memory.

The headache throbbing behind his eyes was going to make moving hard, but Iruka knew he had to find out who had taken him from the bar. If the other man had finally made contact with Iruka, maybe Iruka could find him after all these years.

Iruka's first stop was by Izumo and Kotetsu's apartment. even if they had seen the man last night they had been far to drunk to remember when morning came.

"Sorry Iruka, we turned around and all of a sudden you weren't there anymore," Izumo said rubbing the side of his head not caring much about his usually pristine hair.

"And you didn't care that I just disappeared?" Iruka wondered. Sure he was responsible enough for himself on a normal day, but he was always sure to say goodbye to his friends before he left them.

Kotetsu shrugged, "It was so late we figured you wanted to slip out without anyone else trying to give you another drink."

Iruka rolled his eyes, regretting it seconds later when the pain throbbed behind his eyes again. He hated that Kotetsu was right. If he'd been conscious enough to get himself home he might have done that.

He bade his friends goodbye before he continued to search for clues. Unfortunately for him, Iruka hadn't been expecting to need to remember the people in the bar and when he tried the bartender he had no luck.

Feeling defeated Iruka wanted someone to talk to.

Realizing that maybe that was the answer, Iruka ran to the memorial stone. There he was, kneeling before the stone.

Kakashi turned towards him, Iruka feeling the shock run through their bond.

"Wait!" Iruka called as he continued to to run for Kakashi, he didn't want him to disappear again.

Kakashi stopped, Iruka felt as the nervous feelings overtook the shock.

"You?" Iruka asked, receiving only a nod from the most feared ninja of their village, "Why didn't you tell me before?" He tried to keep his voice level, to not scare the man away.

"I…" Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, something Iruka had seen him do far too often when he'd been observing the other man. Something about it seemed endearing.

Iruka continued to wait, wanting to know everything.

"Every time I was nearby, you seemed so upset. Angry at me…" Kakashi started. Iruka felt awful, he'd been so horrible to Kakashi through their bond. He had been horribly angry and upset that first year or two.

"I'm sorry," Iruka felt he had to apologize, but Kakashi kind of waved it off.

"You were ten, I was only thirteen. Of course you were upset." Iruka swore he could see a tinge of pink just above the edge of the mask.

"But it's been years since then, I've been trying to figure out who you were," Iruka tried to reassure Kakashi.

"I know. I guess I was scared you wouldn't always feel that way."

"And yesterday, I-"

"I pushed you," Kakashi responded, "You baby them too much, they're strong."

It wasn't what Iruka was expecting to hear.

"I hurt you again. I could feel it," Iruka explained.

"I'm used to it," Kakashi tried for nonchalant, but they both tensed once it was out of his mouth. "Sorry."

They stood in silence, Iruka's head drooping from over thinking the whole thing.

"Thank you for last night," Iruka suddenly remembered, how they'd gotten here.

"You remember?" Kakashi asked, his eye wide and the blush from earlier was coming back with a vengeance.

"Not much, I'll admit," Iruka smiled, "I could feel it though."

"Ohh."

Slipping back into silence Iruka tried to figure out where to go. Iruka watched as Kakashi's hands fidgeted at his side. Giving into the desire that rippled through him, Iruka reached for the hands.

Kakashi flinched, but let Iruka pull each hand into his own and give them a squeeze.

"Can we start again?" Iruka asked, feeling the bond surge through their touch.

Kakashi looked Iruka in the eye and with a smile under the mask, gave Iruka a nod.

Iruka smiled to the other, and let one more desire take over his body as he leaned forward and gave a kiss to the clothed lips.

"Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> A bit different than my usual stories, lots of little snippets to get to the end. Also less polished than usual, but the more polished ones are 3 years in the making, so short is a nice change.
> 
> Pulled the dialogue from the online translation mostly, but adjusted it to my liking.
> 
> Never done a soul bond fic before, so hopefully it's good.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
